I turned the blind eye for years. I knew that something wasn't quite right with my boyfriend, but we lived together so how much could he be doing that I didn't know about? Even the events that seemed strange would be written off as just that - strange.
I now think that I didn't want to see what was going on. Some of the signs were so obvious that I'm almost embarrassed to say that I let them go and continued on treating him like he was my prince. Really embarrassed. But I know that I am not the only one in history to ignore the signs, and I know I won't be the last.
While some signs are obvious, others are not so obvious. We can explain away these warning signs with a few possible explanations and so we choose the one that sits the best with us, because admitting that there might be a problem is the harder route to take.
Obvious Signs of Addiction
Stealing money - You had a few hundred bucks in your wallet and now it's gone. He tells you he doesn't know where it went and instead of continuously freaking out about it you eventually just let it go.
It sounds crazy that we would just let it go but that is what happens when we can't find a good explanation. We tell ourselves that we lost it somehow, as if it just fell out of our wallet, and we move on with our lives.
If you are missing large sums of money from your wallet or bank account, and he has access to them, then you have a huge warning sign of addiction sitting in front of you.
Spending money on nothing - This is such an obvious sign when you think about it but it is also very easy to write off.
I remember my boyfriend getting a large income tax return and having no money left a few days later. I asked him where it had gone to and he said 'here and there' with not much extra explanation. After a few weeks of continuously asking him about the money he started to make me feel guilty for hounding him about it and eventually I just gave up. I accepted that the money was gone even though he had nothing to show for it and my mind didn't think addiction was the cause even though I had reasons to believe otherwise.
His friend tells you flat-out that he has an addiction - This is another sign that I've personally dealt with. His friend left a note on my car telling me that he had spent his income tax return on drugs. The problem was that my boyfriend was so convincing that he could talk away anything. He told me that his friend was jealous of our relationship and wanted to break us up. Who do you think I believed?
I told you it was embarrassing that I ignored such obvious signs, but when you are in the relationship your feelings get in the way of facts and it can be very easy to take the route that doesn't make sense because it's easier than fighting, nagging, or worrying.
Not So Obvious Signs
He's always lying - If you constantly catch him in lies then you may just start to wonder if he has a lying problem. You can also start to wonder if he's not telling you things because he doesn't trust you and doesn't want to confide in you. In essence you can start to blame yourself for his lying.
People with addictions are amazing liars! Even when they get caught they can talk you into believing another story that they randomly make up in their head. It doesn't matter if it makes sense or not - they will make you believe it!
The truth is that if he is lying about his whereabouts or anything else then he is trying to cover something up. If he didn't have anything to hide then he wouldn't lie. Period. So if you catch him in constant lies then something is up. Take action to find out what it is or else leave him.
He doesn't look healthy - I remember constantly telling my boyfriend that he should go to the doctor. He was always sniffling and coughing and he was just not a healthy guy in general. I told him that no one should be sick for that long. He would tell me that it was just the way he was and not to worry about it.
I didn't know it but he was addicted to coke. His constant cough and 'sinus problem' was an obvious sign to anyone who had been around a coke addicted person before, but to me it was just a sign of him being really unhealthy.
Any addiction will take its toll on a body. Addiction creates worry and stress on the body and if you are not seeing the failing health signs then you will see the exhausted and irritable signs. Watch for unusual health issues or an unusual amount of stress and exhaustion on the body.
Extreme mood swings - When he can't get to his addiction then he will most likely freak out in one way or the other. This is the anxiety of withdrawal kicking in and you can bet that Jekyll and Hyde is going to show up.
I remember going on a camping trip with my boyfriend and watching him get more moody the longer we were out. He wasn't happy and I assumed that he didn't enjoy camping. The truth was it was the one time he couldn't do his drugs because we were together 24/7.
Staying awake while you are asleep - Everyone has different sleep patterns, but most people end up going to sleep between 9pm to 1am. If you find that your partner is constantly waking up in the middle of the night or not coming to bed till 3am then you may want to set the alarm and check in on what's going on.
My boyfriend took advantage of the fact that I didn't wake up during the night at all. He also took advantage of my trust. Why would I be suspicious of him staying up all hours of the night? He was always functional the next day! I trusted him and I just assumed that was the way he was.
I sure wish I would have got up one of those nights and caught him in the act. The relationship would have ended much sooner therefore ending my constant confusion about him and the relationship.
These are just a few of the signs but my advice is to be cautious of anything that doesn't seem right. A normal relationship does not consist of weird behavior, lies, or moodiness. If you find that you are confused about what is going on, like I was, then that is a sign that your man is playing with your mind and even though you know that things are weird he talks you out of seeing them for what they are.
Showing posts with label love article. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love article. Show all posts
Cheaters guide to get back with your ex girlfriend.
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Ok, you cheated on your girlfriend and now want to know how to get back with your ex girlfriend... She probably won't have anything to do with you, right? Maybe you have had some time to think it over and now know how big of a mistake you made. What can you do now? All is not lost, you still have a good chance to get get your ex back. You must act now; the longer you wait, the more difficult it will be to get back with your ex girlfriend.
There are a couple of things you need to get your girlfriend back: determination (the willingness and desire to do what it takes to get her back), and patience.
Relationships can be too easily broken up, but it may take a little time to repair. You are already putting more effort into repairing your relationship than most people do. You will get back with your ex girlfriend if you don't give up on her.
Now, since you cheated on her, I'm assuming that she may not want to talk to you. So, you need to find a way to get your ex to talk to you again....
First of all, make sure your heart is in the right place. If you are truly in love with this gal, you will know it in your heart. Chances are, your ex girlfriend has similar feelings about you, but she is probably questioning the relationship right now. How can you make her realize those feelings again?
Here are several great ways to get your ex girlfriend back thinking about you:
Write her a handwritten letter. Take some time, think only of her, add a short apology, and move on to reminding her of how it felt when the two of you were together. Keep it simple! Don't bring up any negative thoughts. Always stay positive. If she broke up with you, mention that you understand and accept the break up. Let her know that you would have done the same thing.
Taking it slow and starting over as friends is the best way to get back with your ex girlfriend. Most times this is going to be your best bet. Keep sending her notes and letters. They don't have to be long, 3-4 sentences can be very flattering to a gal that is questioning her love for you. Suggest that you start over and get to know each other better. Don't ask her to put her trust in you yet. Instead let her know that you wish to earn her trust back. Starting out as friends is a great way to do just this.
A small, inexpensive gift can go a long way. You should know what your girl likes. If not, think about it for awhile, ask her friends and relatives if you have to. Show her you love her by giving her a gift that she would really like. Showing her that you pay attention to what she likes is a sure fire way to get back with your ex girlfriend by touching her heart. Leave a note on the gift to really add some extra charm to it.
Leave your phone number for her near the bottom of your letters and notes. help her want to call you.Your conversation will be much sweeter when you let her decide to call you.... she won't call you unless she wants to give you a second chance. Once she calls you, make sure you take it slow. Moving too fast can often scare her away, killing your chances of getting your ex back.
Don't get discouraged. Remember that Perseverance and patience are two important things to get back with your ex girlfriend.
There are a couple of things you need to get your girlfriend back: determination (the willingness and desire to do what it takes to get her back), and patience.
Relationships can be too easily broken up, but it may take a little time to repair. You are already putting more effort into repairing your relationship than most people do. You will get back with your ex girlfriend if you don't give up on her.Now, since you cheated on her, I'm assuming that she may not want to talk to you. So, you need to find a way to get your ex to talk to you again....
First of all, make sure your heart is in the right place. If you are truly in love with this gal, you will know it in your heart. Chances are, your ex girlfriend has similar feelings about you, but she is probably questioning the relationship right now. How can you make her realize those feelings again?
Here are several great ways to get your ex girlfriend back thinking about you:
Write her a handwritten letter. Take some time, think only of her, add a short apology, and move on to reminding her of how it felt when the two of you were together. Keep it simple! Don't bring up any negative thoughts. Always stay positive. If she broke up with you, mention that you understand and accept the break up. Let her know that you would have done the same thing.
Taking it slow and starting over as friends is the best way to get back with your ex girlfriend. Most times this is going to be your best bet. Keep sending her notes and letters. They don't have to be long, 3-4 sentences can be very flattering to a gal that is questioning her love for you. Suggest that you start over and get to know each other better. Don't ask her to put her trust in you yet. Instead let her know that you wish to earn her trust back. Starting out as friends is a great way to do just this.
A small, inexpensive gift can go a long way. You should know what your girl likes. If not, think about it for awhile, ask her friends and relatives if you have to. Show her you love her by giving her a gift that she would really like. Showing her that you pay attention to what she likes is a sure fire way to get back with your ex girlfriend by touching her heart. Leave a note on the gift to really add some extra charm to it.
Leave your phone number for her near the bottom of your letters and notes. help her want to call you.Your conversation will be much sweeter when you let her decide to call you.... she won't call you unless she wants to give you a second chance. Once she calls you, make sure you take it slow. Moving too fast can often scare her away, killing your chances of getting your ex back.
Don't get discouraged. Remember that Perseverance and patience are two important things to get back with your ex girlfriend.
Love Article: What a girl wish in a relationship
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What a girl wish in a relationship? What do women wish from a marriage? These are the questions of most lovers, If any man knows the answer to these questions and act by it, he would get a happy and loyal partner in return, for sure.
Women wish Men to understand them: Many women would want their men to read their mind. But unfortunately most men are not good mind readers. So guys looking to win the love of girl should develop a good communication with her and be a good listener when she talks. Try to get to know her passions, interests, hobbies and other things about her. A woman looks for appreciation and support from her partner.
Women wish Men to be Honest to them: Women expect honesty from their man. A woman can’t stand lies and infidelity from a partner. Women are often good with their intuitions and can find if the man is cheating. Cheating can ruin any relationship and it is difficult to build trust in the partner again. On the other hand, if you are loyal and honest to your partner it would make her feel secured and relaxed.
Women wish men to Love them: Women want to know and feel that they are loved. Shower your love on your women by way of Gifts, comforts and gestures. Add good sex and romance to it and you would get her loyalty and devotion instead.
Women wish men to respect them:Women would not want men to call them names or beat them or treat like a door mat. Women want their men to how them through actions that you respect their opinions, careers, interests, friends, bodies and minds.
Women wish their men to be committed to them: Women do not want their men taking them for a ride or taken as granted. Majority of women look for Very some sort of commitment in a relationship. No woman likes being taken for a ride. If you are a man who is willing to take a step towards commitment then that would make your women very happy.
As the saying goes ‘What you give is what you get’. If you want your partner to treat you well then you should treat her well too.
In short, treat your women the way you want yourself to be treated. If you want a good wife then you should be a good husband.
Women wish Men to understand them: Many women would want their men to read their mind. But unfortunately most men are not good mind readers. So guys looking to win the love of girl should develop a good communication with her and be a good listener when she talks. Try to get to know her passions, interests, hobbies and other things about her. A woman looks for appreciation and support from her partner.Women wish Men to be Honest to them: Women expect honesty from their man. A woman can’t stand lies and infidelity from a partner. Women are often good with their intuitions and can find if the man is cheating. Cheating can ruin any relationship and it is difficult to build trust in the partner again. On the other hand, if you are loyal and honest to your partner it would make her feel secured and relaxed.
Women wish men to Love them: Women want to know and feel that they are loved. Shower your love on your women by way of Gifts, comforts and gestures. Add good sex and romance to it and you would get her loyalty and devotion instead.
Women wish men to respect them:Women would not want men to call them names or beat them or treat like a door mat. Women want their men to how them through actions that you respect their opinions, careers, interests, friends, bodies and minds.
Women wish their men to be committed to them: Women do not want their men taking them for a ride or taken as granted. Majority of women look for Very some sort of commitment in a relationship. No woman likes being taken for a ride. If you are a man who is willing to take a step towards commitment then that would make your women very happy.
As the saying goes ‘What you give is what you get’. If you want your partner to treat you well then you should treat her well too.
In short, treat your women the way you want yourself to be treated. If you want a good wife then you should be a good husband.
Love and Time
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Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed their boats and left the island, except Love.
Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.
When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.
Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said,
“Richness, can you take me with you?”
Richness answered, “No, I can’t. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you.”
Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. “Vanity, please help me!”
“I can’t help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat,” Vanity answered.
Sadness was close by so Love asked, “Sadness, let me go with you.”
“Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!”
Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.
Suddenly, there was a voice, “Come, Love, I will take you.” It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder,
Love asked Knowledge, another elder, “Who helped me?”
“It was Time,” Knowledge answered.
“Time?” asked Love. “But why did Time help me?”
Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, “Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is.”
Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.
When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.
Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said,
“Richness, can you take me with you?”
Richness answered, “No, I can’t. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you.”
Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. “Vanity, please help me!”
“I can’t help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat,” Vanity answered.
Sadness was close by so Love asked, “Sadness, let me go with you.”
“Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!”
Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.
Suddenly, there was a voice, “Come, Love, I will take you.” It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder,
Love asked Knowledge, another elder, “Who helped me?”
“It was Time,” Knowledge answered.
“Time?” asked Love. “But why did Time help me?”
Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, “Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is.”